¿Quien es Mas Patético?
2004 has become the Summer of Pubs, not just because of dual 'Ulysses' book-dragging pub crawls, but also three publications written by friends and acquaitances. While each of these books looks to hold quite competent writing, each encounters some fundamental marketing flaws. In order of publication, first we have "The Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks", by Dr. Pedale Perditus, aka Hal Robins. Hal, who denies his own membership in the Belligerati but has not filed a formal petition for the stark fist of removal, is using the tried and failed "word of mouth" method to advertise his book. When he turns on the high pressure pitch, he gives out the ISBN. I tried to stimulate commerce in the BRC hack job of the "A Message From Dr. Hal Newsletter" by providing a direct link to his book at Amazon, but Hal quickly regained control and reverted to the ancient and obscure booksellers code. So very Hal.
Next we have witnessed what on the first glance looks to be a slick, professional release of Brian Doherty's "This is Burning Man", published by vernerable New York publishing house Little Brown. Kudos abound for what appears to be the first even-handed and more-or-less accurate analysis of a series of previously poorly-told tales, legends, myths and outright BMorg propaganda. With the unlimited marketing power of the East Coast intellectual elite combined with a burgeoning population of West Coast wannabees, hipsters, yuppies, ravers and tweakers, how could Brian's book not succeed? Ah, the answer is screaming out from the question I posed... lofty intellectuals will never understand, encourage or really care about the Larry's Lame-O-Rama and current crop of BM ticket buyers will only want to recall their completely original, totally unique theme camp and how next year they will make it even bigger. Added to this useless population of big talkers and illiterates the laudable fact that Brian's book, for the sake of journalistic professionalism, was unauthorized and will not be on sale at the Center Cafe, and you'll understand why Brian's own predictions for fame and fortune are sensibly subdued.
Now for the third selection, I happily attended the book release party at a genuine bookstore (this was something denied me for Brian's book release party, because understanding the tight-knit and loving community that surrounds Burning Man also requires that certain unpleasantnesses best be ignored and avoided). The third book in question, "Orthodox Ruse: 'A Theological Thriller'" by Seth Maxwell Malice, was hastily being assembled on the spot by Malice, using crudely painted wooden box slates and electrical tape to contain poorly-Xeroxed one-sided pages. Seth complained bitterly about the bad quality of the photocopying, blaming the machine he was using at the BoxShop. As it turned out, I had given that very copier to Chicken when my business decided to up and Leave No Trace. Should I have been surprised that Seth had not continued with the maintenance contract? No matter, because in the time it took us to drink up his bottle of cheap wine, he still had not assembled a finished copy, persuaded random customers to find him a paper cutter or convinced anyone but me to purchase a copy. Still, it was a bona fide literary experience, additionally rewarded with a free dirty vinyl sack from a dumpster to hold the jumbled book components and a plastic snow globe of Washington DC.
Which delivers me back to the question, "¿Quien es mas patético?". Surely not Hal, Brian or Seth. Well.., maybe Seth, but to continue... I posit it is those of us in the BRC who have not bought these books and have not submitted them as material worthy for the Belligerati. I also suggest that Brian and Seth be joined, if not to each other, than to the BRC. Hal Robins should be held to profess, in a public forum or the Odeon Bar, that he is indeed a member of the Belligerati. Finally, September should be BRC Members Month, also known as "Mes de '¿Quien es Mas Patético?' ", a back-to-school celebration of stuff we have created. Drafts or twine-bound manuscripts, fiction or non-fiction, crap or even worse crap. I know we've got it in us, it's going to come out sooner or later, so let's devise a suitable receptacle.
Next we have witnessed what on the first glance looks to be a slick, professional release of Brian Doherty's "This is Burning Man", published by vernerable New York publishing house Little Brown. Kudos abound for what appears to be the first even-handed and more-or-less accurate analysis of a series of previously poorly-told tales, legends, myths and outright BMorg propaganda. With the unlimited marketing power of the East Coast intellectual elite combined with a burgeoning population of West Coast wannabees, hipsters, yuppies, ravers and tweakers, how could Brian's book not succeed? Ah, the answer is screaming out from the question I posed... lofty intellectuals will never understand, encourage or really care about the Larry's Lame-O-Rama and current crop of BM ticket buyers will only want to recall their completely original, totally unique theme camp and how next year they will make it even bigger. Added to this useless population of big talkers and illiterates the laudable fact that Brian's book, for the sake of journalistic professionalism, was unauthorized and will not be on sale at the Center Cafe, and you'll understand why Brian's own predictions for fame and fortune are sensibly subdued.
Now for the third selection, I happily attended the book release party at a genuine bookstore (this was something denied me for Brian's book release party, because understanding the tight-knit and loving community that surrounds Burning Man also requires that certain unpleasantnesses best be ignored and avoided). The third book in question, "Orthodox Ruse: 'A Theological Thriller'" by Seth Maxwell Malice, was hastily being assembled on the spot by Malice, using crudely painted wooden box slates and electrical tape to contain poorly-Xeroxed one-sided pages. Seth complained bitterly about the bad quality of the photocopying, blaming the machine he was using at the BoxShop. As it turned out, I had given that very copier to Chicken when my business decided to up and Leave No Trace. Should I have been surprised that Seth had not continued with the maintenance contract? No matter, because in the time it took us to drink up his bottle of cheap wine, he still had not assembled a finished copy, persuaded random customers to find him a paper cutter or convinced anyone but me to purchase a copy. Still, it was a bona fide literary experience, additionally rewarded with a free dirty vinyl sack from a dumpster to hold the jumbled book components and a plastic snow globe of Washington DC.
Which delivers me back to the question, "¿Quien es mas patético?". Surely not Hal, Brian or Seth. Well.., maybe Seth, but to continue... I posit it is those of us in the BRC who have not bought these books and have not submitted them as material worthy for the Belligerati. I also suggest that Brian and Seth be joined, if not to each other, than to the BRC. Hal Robins should be held to profess, in a public forum or the Odeon Bar, that he is indeed a member of the Belligerati. Finally, September should be BRC Members Month, also known as "Mes de '¿Quien es Mas Patético?' ", a back-to-school celebration of stuff we have created. Drafts or twine-bound manuscripts, fiction or non-fiction, crap or even worse crap. I know we've got it in us, it's going to come out sooner or later, so let's devise a suitable receptacle.
3 Comments:
Three things come to mind. 1. We need fodder for the a) manifesto and b) the book to be sold through the online store where I don't make any money off of the sales. In the interest of the above, collecting the the scribbled scratches of the assembled members to be fashioned into a readable collage sounds good. Personally the only things I have ever written appear in email form and the best work has been posted to this list.
Thing 2. Brian, and Seth are obvious candidates. Who ever can tag em and bag em can bring them in for induction.
Part C. I can't remember now what the third thing was. Possibly that no reading selection shall be submitted to the committee in any state less than professionally printed and bound. Works submitted in bagged format may just become confetti to be dropped from a fancy airlift mechanism (see:the Christmas Literature Airlift). I have a book of Seth's somewhere in tidy digital format that passes easily between hands in the floppy disk format. Too bad I don't have a machine with floppy disk in tact.
Perhaps there is more to ponder here. Let's see what floats to the top of the bowl.
OK, I got it. I misspelled the login name the first time cause i was drunk. All I had to do was misspell it again and I'm in. great.
I like the idea of a comp/collected works, and I'll scrounge around to see what i find to contribute. How about my thesis on _Clarel_? How about just the first page of footnotes?
One more thing: I see in "notable blogs" that "This is Burning Man" is #1 yet the Belligerati are yet anonymous. What gives? More swearing get us noticed? Well fucking Jesus Christ on a crutch, lets get with it then!
and another thing...
just becaust i've figured out how to comment on the variously wise spewings of my bretheren and sistren, does in no way imply that the means to an original and self-supporting "blog" of my own are in any way transparent.
So until someone explains that, expect to suffer many many more nagging complaining comments that have little or nothing to do with y'all's conversatin'.
yah.
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