¿Quien es Mas Patético?
2004 has become the Summer of Pubs, not just because of dual 'Ulysses' book-dragging pub crawls, but also three publications written by friends and acquaitances. While each of these books looks to hold quite competent writing, each encounters some fundamental marketing flaws. In order of publication, first we have "The Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks", by Dr. Pedale Perditus, aka Hal Robins. Hal, who denies his own membership in the Belligerati but has not filed a formal petition for the stark fist of removal, is using the tried and failed "word of mouth" method to advertise his book. When he turns on the high pressure pitch, he gives out the ISBN. I tried to stimulate commerce in the BRC hack job of the "A Message From Dr. Hal Newsletter" by providing a direct link to his book at Amazon, but Hal quickly regained control and reverted to the ancient and obscure booksellers code. So very Hal.
Next we have witnessed what on the first glance looks to be a slick, professional release of Brian Doherty's "This is Burning Man", published by vernerable New York publishing house Little Brown. Kudos abound for what appears to be the first even-handed and more-or-less accurate analysis of a series of previously poorly-told tales, legends, myths and outright BMorg propaganda. With the unlimited marketing power of the East Coast intellectual elite combined with a burgeoning population of West Coast wannabees, hipsters, yuppies, ravers and tweakers, how could Brian's book not succeed? Ah, the answer is screaming out from the question I posed... lofty intellectuals will never understand, encourage or really care about the Larry's Lame-O-Rama and current crop of BM ticket buyers will only want to recall their completely original, totally unique theme camp and how next year they will make it even bigger. Added to this useless population of big talkers and illiterates the laudable fact that Brian's book, for the sake of journalistic professionalism, was unauthorized and will not be on sale at the Center Cafe, and you'll understand why Brian's own predictions for fame and fortune are sensibly subdued.
Now for the third selection, I happily attended the book release party at a genuine bookstore (this was something denied me for Brian's book release party, because understanding the tight-knit and loving community that surrounds Burning Man also requires that certain unpleasantnesses best be ignored and avoided). The third book in question, "Orthodox Ruse: 'A Theological Thriller'" by Seth Maxwell Malice, was hastily being assembled on the spot by Malice, using crudely painted wooden box slates and electrical tape to contain poorly-Xeroxed one-sided pages. Seth complained bitterly about the bad quality of the photocopying, blaming the machine he was using at the BoxShop. As it turned out, I had given that very copier to Chicken when my business decided to up and Leave No Trace. Should I have been surprised that Seth had not continued with the maintenance contract? No matter, because in the time it took us to drink up his bottle of cheap wine, he still had not assembled a finished copy, persuaded random customers to find him a paper cutter or convinced anyone but me to purchase a copy. Still, it was a bona fide literary experience, additionally rewarded with a free dirty vinyl sack from a dumpster to hold the jumbled book components and a plastic snow globe of Washington DC.
Which delivers me back to the question, "¿Quien es mas patético?". Surely not Hal, Brian or Seth. Well.., maybe Seth, but to continue... I posit it is those of us in the BRC who have not bought these books and have not submitted them as material worthy for the Belligerati. I also suggest that Brian and Seth be joined, if not to each other, than to the BRC. Hal Robins should be held to profess, in a public forum or the Odeon Bar, that he is indeed a member of the Belligerati. Finally, September should be BRC Members Month, also known as "Mes de '¿Quien es Mas Patético?' ", a back-to-school celebration of stuff we have created. Drafts or twine-bound manuscripts, fiction or non-fiction, crap or even worse crap. I know we've got it in us, it's going to come out sooner or later, so let's devise a suitable receptacle.
Next we have witnessed what on the first glance looks to be a slick, professional release of Brian Doherty's "This is Burning Man", published by vernerable New York publishing house Little Brown. Kudos abound for what appears to be the first even-handed and more-or-less accurate analysis of a series of previously poorly-told tales, legends, myths and outright BMorg propaganda. With the unlimited marketing power of the East Coast intellectual elite combined with a burgeoning population of West Coast wannabees, hipsters, yuppies, ravers and tweakers, how could Brian's book not succeed? Ah, the answer is screaming out from the question I posed... lofty intellectuals will never understand, encourage or really care about the Larry's Lame-O-Rama and current crop of BM ticket buyers will only want to recall their completely original, totally unique theme camp and how next year they will make it even bigger. Added to this useless population of big talkers and illiterates the laudable fact that Brian's book, for the sake of journalistic professionalism, was unauthorized and will not be on sale at the Center Cafe, and you'll understand why Brian's own predictions for fame and fortune are sensibly subdued.
Now for the third selection, I happily attended the book release party at a genuine bookstore (this was something denied me for Brian's book release party, because understanding the tight-knit and loving community that surrounds Burning Man also requires that certain unpleasantnesses best be ignored and avoided). The third book in question, "Orthodox Ruse: 'A Theological Thriller'" by Seth Maxwell Malice, was hastily being assembled on the spot by Malice, using crudely painted wooden box slates and electrical tape to contain poorly-Xeroxed one-sided pages. Seth complained bitterly about the bad quality of the photocopying, blaming the machine he was using at the BoxShop. As it turned out, I had given that very copier to Chicken when my business decided to up and Leave No Trace. Should I have been surprised that Seth had not continued with the maintenance contract? No matter, because in the time it took us to drink up his bottle of cheap wine, he still had not assembled a finished copy, persuaded random customers to find him a paper cutter or convinced anyone but me to purchase a copy. Still, it was a bona fide literary experience, additionally rewarded with a free dirty vinyl sack from a dumpster to hold the jumbled book components and a plastic snow globe of Washington DC.
Which delivers me back to the question, "¿Quien es mas patético?". Surely not Hal, Brian or Seth. Well.., maybe Seth, but to continue... I posit it is those of us in the BRC who have not bought these books and have not submitted them as material worthy for the Belligerati. I also suggest that Brian and Seth be joined, if not to each other, than to the BRC. Hal Robins should be held to profess, in a public forum or the Odeon Bar, that he is indeed a member of the Belligerati. Finally, September should be BRC Members Month, also known as "Mes de '¿Quien es Mas Patético?' ", a back-to-school celebration of stuff we have created. Drafts or twine-bound manuscripts, fiction or non-fiction, crap or even worse crap. I know we've got it in us, it's going to come out sooner or later, so let's devise a suitable receptacle.
