Movie Belch

Having movies show up in your mailbox almost every day is a lot of fun. Even more so when they are not run of the mill blockbuster films with robot actors and a plot you can fit in five lines on one page. Sorry, I really do think Kill Bill could have been a short film and been just as good.

So what I thought I would do is share a few of the recent views and point you to some interesting and some really strange things that have come through the dead tree inbox.

First, I gotta say it again, Django is freekin amazing.
Django (1966) http://www.greencine.com/webCatalog?id=689
For those of you that got to sample it at the last meeting, you know what I mean. Nothing says good movie like one that opens on the strange man coming to town dragging a coffin behind him. The soundtrack is great, especially the music for the Mexicans' arrival. Surreal, great sets, Resevoir Dogs challenging violence. * * * * *a full five Belligeratis

Rat Pfink and Boo-Boo (1966) http://www.greencine.com/webCatalog?id=30201
So this kind of rockabilly singer guy's girlfriend gets kidnapped by these guys that seem like they drank way too much coffee. So the rockabilly guy and his gardener go in to a closet and come out as Rat Pfink and Boo Boo. Sort of like Batman and Robin, but none of the good sound effects or acting. If you like films shot on a budget of whatever they had in their pockets you will dig it.
Part music video, part action crime thing, totally goofball * * * Belligeratis for the b-grade entertainment.

Shadows (1959) http://www.greencine.com/webCatalog?id=4731
Hey, you don't like John Cassavetes and I probably don't either. His first work as a director, Shadows looks in to the lives of three siblings of African decent and wildly differing skin tones. You got racism, interacial dating, discontent with the crappy world they live in. These people were probably just dragged off the street because the acting is way off. People repeat their lines for no apparent reason.   * * Belligeratis for the heavy tense vibe of the film. Almost enough to drive me from viewing.

Ultrachrist! (2003) http://www.greencine.com/webCatalog?id=100922
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter it ain't but for some reason there are a lot of lesbians in this one too. I guess Jesus just digs the lady on lady action. Apparently a larger film and gear budget than JCVH, but all the bad acting and senseless dialogue. Jesus comes back and figures the only way to catch peoples attention is to don a spiffy spandex get up and change his name to UltraChrist. Low on the kung fu, but plenty of musical numbers to keep you toes tapping.
Gonna have to give this one * * * * Belligeratis, just one shy of a full five because it didn't have Santo or vampires.

The Apostle (1997) http://www.greencine.com/webCatalog?id=6243
Ok, so I do watch normal movies once in a while. Robert Duvall is great in this movie about a southern preacher man who has to go on the lamb after going upside his wife's lover's head at a little league game. Farrah Fawcett is still pretty hot, but she is a cheating bitch and eventually puts the final nail in Duvall's coffin. The last scene of the movie is gut wrenching. Yeah, I cried. Four * * * * Belligeratis for Duvall's portrayal of a constantly jabbering jesus freek that looks like he was going to get away with it.

Happiness of the Katakuris (2001) http://www.greencine.com/webCatalog?id=28103
There is no use trying to explain this one. Japanese people are just plain nuts. Directed by Takashi Miike of Audition and Ichi the Killer fame. This story of a nutty family running a nutty guest house is freekin loaded with karaoke grade outbursts of song and dance. The opening claymation scene really caught me off guard. Who expects claymation to just be injected in to a film like that. Gonna have to go five * * * * * Belligeratis for the sheer loon factor and the fact that I just can't get enough of completely bizarre stories with completely bizarre musical qualities. Walk don't run. Then start running.

Selection Committee

Hi there, I'm your new selection committee chairman, Mr. Derden. Since we seem to be floundering on book selections lately, I am implementing some new procedures that ought to both improve the process and make it more participatory.

At our next meeting in October, I propose to elect a slate of books that will take us through the winter months - a full 6 month's "season" of reading. Here's how I see this working:

- Between now and the meeting, any Belligeratus is encouraged to "nominate" works of fiction for the club. The book you nominate should be either (A) something you've already read, and loved reading, and would gladly read again; or (B) something you haven't read yet, but which sounds really good, and has been recommended to you by someone whose opinion you prize.

- All nominations for the Winter Season should be made to the email list, posted with a subject line that begins with the word "Nominations." The title and author should be accompanied by a brief blerb (yours or someone else's) and (ideally) a web link to get reviews and more info.

- Any Belligeratus who reads one of these nominations on the list and wants to "second" it may do so. Any novel that is nominated and seconded will be placed on a ballot, to be voted on at our next meeting. I will do the work of compiling the nominations and assembling the ballot.

- Top 6 vote-getters at our next meeting will randomly shuffled to become the Winter Schedule, posted to the website, etc.

Comments? Suggestions? Death threats? Reply.

¿Quien es Mas Patético?

2004 has become the Summer of Pubs, not just because of dual 'Ulysses' book-dragging pub crawls, but also three publications written by friends and acquaitances. While each of these books looks to hold quite competent writing, each encounters some fundamental marketing flaws. In order of publication, first we have "The Meaning of Lost and Mismatched Socks", by Dr. Pedale Perditus, aka Hal Robins. Hal, who denies his own membership in the Belligerati but has not filed a formal petition for the stark fist of removal, is using the tried and failed "word of mouth" method to advertise his book. When he turns on the high pressure pitch, he gives out the ISBN. I tried to stimulate commerce in the BRC hack job of the "A Message From Dr. Hal Newsletter" by providing a direct link to his book at Amazon, but Hal quickly regained control and reverted to the ancient and obscure booksellers code. So very Hal.

Next we have witnessed what on the first glance looks to be a slick, professional release of Brian Doherty's "This is Burning Man", published by vernerable New York publishing house Little Brown. Kudos abound for what appears to be the first even-handed and more-or-less accurate analysis of a series of previously poorly-told tales, legends, myths and outright BMorg propaganda. With the unlimited marketing power of the East Coast intellectual elite combined with a burgeoning population of West Coast wannabees, hipsters, yuppies, ravers and tweakers, how could Brian's book not succeed? Ah, the answer is screaming out from the question I posed... lofty intellectuals will never understand, encourage or really care about the Larry's Lame-O-Rama and current crop of BM ticket buyers will only want to recall their completely original, totally unique theme camp and how next year they will make it even bigger. Added to this useless population of big talkers and illiterates the laudable fact that Brian's book, for the sake of journalistic professionalism, was unauthorized and will not be on sale at the Center Cafe, and you'll understand why Brian's own predictions for fame and fortune are sensibly subdued.

Now for the third selection, I happily attended the book release party at a genuine bookstore (this was something denied me for Brian's book release party, because understanding the tight-knit and loving community that surrounds Burning Man also requires that certain unpleasantnesses best be ignored and avoided). The third book in question, "Orthodox Ruse: 'A Theological Thriller'" by Seth Maxwell Malice, was hastily being assembled on the spot by Malice, using crudely painted wooden box slates and electrical tape to contain poorly-Xeroxed one-sided pages. Seth complained bitterly about the bad quality of the photocopying, blaming the machine he was using at the BoxShop. As it turned out, I had given that very copier to Chicken when my business decided to up and Leave No Trace. Should I have been surprised that Seth had not continued with the maintenance contract? No matter, because in the time it took us to drink up his bottle of cheap wine, he still had not assembled a finished copy, persuaded random customers to find him a paper cutter or convinced anyone but me to purchase a copy. Still, it was a bona fide literary experience, additionally rewarded with a free dirty vinyl sack from a dumpster to hold the jumbled book components and a plastic snow globe of Washington DC.

Which delivers me back to the question, "¿Quien es mas patético?". Surely not Hal, Brian or Seth. Well.., maybe Seth, but to continue... I posit it is those of us in the BRC who have not bought these books and have not submitted them as material worthy for the Belligerati. I also suggest that Brian and Seth be joined, if not to each other, than to the BRC. Hal Robins should be held to profess, in a public forum or the Odeon Bar, that he is indeed a member of the Belligerati. Finally, September should be BRC Members Month, also known as "Mes de '¿Quien es Mas Patético?' ", a back-to-school celebration of stuff we have created. Drafts or twine-bound manuscripts, fiction or non-fiction, crap or even worse crap. I know we've got it in us, it's going to come out sooner or later, so let's devise a suitable receptacle.

"A plastic bag full of wet newspapers"

"The dominoes looked so black I coul hardly see them"

Satu Mangrum (45)

I remember a woman walking toward me holding a plastic shopping bag, and inside it there was was this big wad of wet papers. smelled quite strongly but not in a way that was immediately recognizable. I thought at the time it might be some of those perfume-soaked fashion magazines (laughs), a really bad smell like that. But by then I was already having trouble with my eyesight and had developed a bad cough. The dominoes looked so black I could hardly see them! And I kept losing count of the score, such a simple thing but it gave me such a headache.

Looking back on it now, I can see I was in pretty bad shape, but at the time all I could think of was my duty to the group. And you see I had just eaten some saba at ( ) Sushi, (laughs) so it was easy to blame my symptoms on that. Leaving the meeting early would have been a serious affront to the Belligerati, or so it seemed to me at the time. Probably that was one of the symptoms as well - in many ways it was like being drunk on beer and sake and rum, all at the same time!

I don't hate the Belligerati for what they did - and in many ways I feel that I am still part of the BRC, and I always will be, even if I don't always agree with everything the leadership decides.

The doctors say I will get better, my liver just needs time to heal. The vision loss has already improved, and with the help of a strong light I think I can start reading the Barth book soon.

Enjoying my stay in Montana. I don't think I will come back. Saw a young Grizzlie yesterday. Ate Huckleberries. Yup, don't think I will be checking in at the airport to make that journey home. Probably should go do some fishing now.

Frikkin wheee!

Yeah so the calendar link is live and we have lots of holidays to observe. Until I figure out some live edit method for it, you will have to email me submissions for adding.

The book list is now also online. At some point it would be nice to put up a review of each work based on the vigorous thrashing it took during the meeting. And something more than two words. It would just look bad if the review for Underworld was "hated it" sung in that Men On Film lispy way.

I am rather concerned that most of the list members have not added in to edit the blog. I guess I will wait a bit and then resend invitations. The usual 3 strikes and yer out policy may apply. You have one if you are not on the list to the right.

Tircus made all kinds of vague threats commented to the first blog post. I must say I am impressed because he is online about as much as an Amish milk maiden. Look out he's got rickety French to taunt you with.

Still waiting for Manifesto submissions and interesting link ideas for the available link holes. It is possible that they will just vanish if there is no good use for them. I am still not certain what to do if someone actually applies to the club. I guess their first test of valor would be to buy the club a round. If they are victorious in this conquest, I suppose we can let them in. As long as they don't suggest Confederacy of Dunces or Infinite Jest.

Sorry about deleting your blank post there Pedro. But I thought it might lack in reply comments.

The following is not book related.

Watched a couple movies this weekend worth mentioning. Firstly, that Peter Jackson guy rules. And not for LOTR's hours of mind pounding reproducing of JRRT's fine fantasy books. I am talking about Bad Taste . At first I thought I was in trouble for the noticably incomprehensible New Zealand accent. It felt as though they might have used the same dubbing technology popular in the Mad Max/Road Warrior films. Yeah, us Americans have a real hard time understanding english spoken with an accent. Take the Texan dialect for instance. I can't help but think a person is lying to me when I hear Texan.

This fear was only held for about 2 more minutes. When the superbly low budget gore kicked in, I knew it would be alright. Yeah, the special effects at times made me feel like they had picked up the props from roadkill sheep. In fact I would almost be certain they did.

The storyline is pretty simple. Agents from an interplanetary food distributor have decided to come to Earth to harvest human meat for a new product line. Somehow four completely unlikely nerds who are also members of an elite anti-alien SWAT team of sorts deploy to thwart the alien invasion. Massive sploding takes place. Sure you can't tell what people are saying because the NZ brogue is thick and fast, but who cares. I laughed so hard several times in viewing that I nearly sprayed my own guts on the screen. Especially humourous was one RPG induced sheep sploding. No Dingoes were harmed in the film.

I give it 5 out of 5 cricket bats for gratuitous sheep sploding, ridiculously cheap gore, bad metal tunes in soundtrack, bad dubbing.

Alternately, I watched I Will Walk Like a Crazy Horse by Fernando Arrabal. For the most part it was ... It took on the usual ... As a surrealist film it ranks with ... You know I am having a hard time putting my finger on it. It tried to hard to point things out. It was too overt when it should have been covert. It felt as if it was trying to borrow too much from things that had been done before. It doesn't hold up to The Holy Mountain, but is very similar in it's attempts to contrast the simple life to the material life. Lot's of suggested poop eating. The French can't get enough of that action. I don't feel I gained anything by watching this film.